After several months of ups and downs, my boyfriend and I have decided to part ways. Although it’s been a while since we broke up, I needed to make sure I was completely over it before sharing the news. You might still see mentions of him occasionally, as I have some pre-breakup posts queued up.
We’ve agreed on how to divide our three jointly-owned properties: the lakeside plot with a small house, the 90-acre land development, and the second beach plot in front of it. We’ve split the unsold plots and the second beach equally. I’m staying in the lakeside house, planning to keep the guest house open to offset some costs, while he has moved back to the city. The lakeside house is currently on the market, and if it sells, I plan to build something new on the other beach plot. After 18 months of having workers constantly around, I am mentally exhausted and craving peace and quiet, though I may start building another house elsewhere just to be safe.
Besides splitting the money in our business account in half, there isn’t much else to report. Given that this is a financial blog, I wanted to share some tips on surviving a breakup financially.
**Don’t Get Blinded by Love**
This is advice for before a breakup. When you’re single or just starting a relationship, your judgment is clearer. Set your priorities and financial goals. Be mindful of how you’ll handle expenses like dates or rent if you move in together. Are you ready to go on an expensive holiday if you’re still in debt? Always know what you want and understand the risks if you decide to compromise.
**Think Long and Hard About Combined Finances**
I’ve always been against fully combining finances, but everyone’s different. Don’t make decisions based on how much you love and trust someone, because even in marriage, there’s a 50% chance you won’t grow old together. Base your decisions on your values and principles. For instance, we had a joint account for shared household expenses, like taxes and staff wages, but kept individual money for personal treats.
**Know Where You Stand at Any Time**
Always be aware of your financial situation. Know how much money you have, your debts, and to whom you owe money. Be involved in your finances, know the passwords to online banking, and where statements are kept. If your partner is secretive about these things, it might indicate a problem.
**Have Some Money Squirreled Away**
Set aside some money for emergencies. It might seem sneaky, but it’s essential to have a safety net. If the relationship turns sour, you’ll be glad you saved some money. This amount could come from found money, birthday gifts, or an inheritance. Ideally, have enough for a deposit and first month’s rent on a small property and some extra to get by for a few weeks.
**Review Your Expenses**
With the breakup, life might become more expensive, or you might need to cut unnecessary expenses. For example, I plan to reduce the maid and handyman’s hours. Examine what expenses you can cut now that you’re on your own. Can you manage on one income, or do you need to downsize your home or sell your car?
**Write Numbers Down**
Document everything you have in common and how you want to split it. Justify the last shared expenses and write everything down for clarity and as a reference if things change later.
**Break the Fiscal Ties**
If you earn less than your spouse, a divorce might put you in a lower tax bracket. File separately if it benefits you financially. However, if you’re on good terms and filing jointly is advantageous, you might consider it temporarily. But remember, circumstances can change, especially if one of you starts dating someone new.
**Let It Go**
Breakups are painful, and people often use money to hurt each other. When dividing assets, try to find a quick and fair solution without dwelling on the details. Holding on to grievances will only make you both miserable.
Has a breakup ever affected your finances?