As parents, it’s natural to want to give your kids the best life possible, but there’s a fine line between providing for them and spoiling them. Let’s explore different aspects of this balance.
### Clothes
When I was a teenager, I had various odd jobs like tutoring and babysitting. My parents covered basic expenses, including clothing, which they usually bought from a department store. If I wanted clothes from other brands, they’d give me the amount they would spend at our usual store, and I had to cover the difference. This approach seemed fair to me because they didn’t dismiss my taste in brands but also didn’t shell out extra money for it.
### College
College in the U.S. is notoriously expensive, and many students end up with massive debt. Some parents pay for their children’s education on the condition that they perform well academically. For example, my aunt and uncle paid for their four kids’ college education, including semesters at U.S. universities and private business schools, as long as they maintained good grades. In contrast, I paid my own way, which taught me the value of hard work and independence. Personally, I’d pay for my kids’ education if it significantly benefited their career prospects, but I’d expect them to contribute if they have the time for a part-time job.
### Car and Gadgets
Unlike in the U.S., owning a car isn’t always a necessity in Europe. I bought my first car at 28 with my own money. Regarding gadgets, my mom often gives me cash to buy things like a laptop or camera, especially since I travel frequently. While I appreciate the help, I usually only accept financial support for essential items tied to my job or well-being.
### Life Expenses
Each family handles life expenses differently. Charging rent to a high school kid seems extreme, but expecting an independent 30-year-old to contribute is reasonable. When I stay with my mom temporarily, I don’t pay rent or food because she wouldn’t accept it, and I help around the house. However, it’s important to remember that this is a short-term arrangement.
### Travel and Holidays
My grandparents used to take the entire family on annual vacations, creating priceless memories. Similarly, I expect my mom to cover holiday expenses when I visit her, as nurturing family bonds is important. However, when my mom visits me, I handle all the expenses.
### House
In some cultures, like in Guatemala, it’s common for parents to gift newlyweds a house, which can skew the couple’s financial reality. While this can be generous, it often leads to unrealistic expectations about money and self-sufficiency.
Knowing when to help your children and when to let them fend for themselves is challenging. It’s a delicate balance between support and spoiling.
### What Would You Pay/Not Pay For Your Kids?
Think about what essential items and expenses are worth covering for your children and where you draw the line to teach them responsibility.